Guides

Guides for parents of young children in two homes

My Calm Pack supports separated and divorced families with children aged roughly 2–7. These guides give short, practical answers — what to say, what to try, and when to look for more help. They are written from lived experience as a divorced mother of two, not as therapy or medical advice.

• How to explain divorce to a 3-year-old

  Simple words, short sentences and a steady routine: how to tell a 3-year-old that mum and dad will live in two homes, with example wording you can use.

• How to explain divorce to a 4-year-old

  Four-year-olds ask “why?” and may think it is their fault. Calm, honest wording and practical steps for telling a 4-year-old about separation.

• How to explain divorce to a 5-year-old

  A 5-year-old can understand a little more, and may worry about fairness and friends. How to explain separation honestly, with example words and steps.

• How to help a young child adjust to two homes

  Predictability, familiar objects and repeated rituals help young children feel safe living between two homes. Practical steps and words for parents.

• Why does my child act differently after coming back from the other parent?

  Clinginess, tears or defiance after a handover are common in young children. What it may mean, what to say, and how to make the return easier.

• Bedtime anxiety after separation or divorce

  Why bedtime can get harder after separation, and a calm, repeatable bedtime routine that works in both homes. Example words for young children.

• What to say when a child says “I want Mummy” or “I want Daddy”

  When a young child cries for the other parent, it can hurt. Calm words that accept the feeling, keep the child out of conflict and help them settle.

• Helping a child with handovers between two homes

  Short, calm and predictable handovers are easier for young children. A simple handover routine, what to avoid, and words to use at the door.

• What should a young child keep in both homes?

  A practical list of what to duplicate in each home and what to let travel, so a 2–7-year-old feels at home in both places and packing is simpler.

• Comfort objects and familiar routines between two homes

  How a comfort toy and a few repeated rituals help young children feel secure while moving between two homes, and how to set them up together.

• When a child does not want to go to the other parent

  Reluctance to change homes is common in young children. How to respond calmly, what it may mean, and when to look for professional support.

• Big emotions after returning from the other parent

  Tantrums, tears or anger after a young child returns home are common. How to stay steady, what to say, and how to help your child calm down.

• How to talk about two homes without making a child choose sides

  Children need permission to love both parents. Everyday words and habits that protect a young child from loyalty conflict after separation.

• Simple co-parenting communication that keeps the child out of conflict

  Short, practical and child-focused messages between parents. A simple structure for co-parenting communication that keeps young children out of conflict.

• A two-week routine for young children living between two homes

  How to make a simple two-week picture plan and daily anchors so a 2–7-year-old knows where they'll be and what comes next in both homes.