Guide
What to say when a child says “I want Mummy” or “I want Daddy”
By Giedrė, Founder of My Calm Pack · Updated
Short answer
When a child says “I want Mummy” or “I want Daddy”, they are usually expressing that they miss someone they love, not rejecting you. Name the feeling, say when they will next see that parent, and offer comfort.
Try not to take it personally or say anything negative about the other parent — the child needs permission to love you both.
What the words usually mean
Young children don't yet have many words for complicated feelings. “I want Daddy” can mean “I miss him”, “I'm tired”, “this is hard” or “I don't like changing homes”.
Your own feelings
It can sting, especially in the early months. It is fine to feel that; try to deal with it later, away from the child — with a friend, a journal or a professional.
Ideas that help
- A photo of the other parent in the child's room.
- A short, agreed phone or video call at a predictable time, if both parents agree.
- Drawing a picture to give the other parent next time.
What you could say
- “You miss Daddy. Of course you do. You'll see him on Friday after nursery.”
- “It's okay to miss Mummy when you're with me. I'm glad you love her.”
- “Shall we draw a picture for Mummy and keep it in your bag?”
Practical steps
- Name the feeling in one short sentence.
- Give concrete information about the next meeting.
- Offer comfort: a cuddle, a drink, the comfort object.
- Redirect gently to the current activity or routine.
Common questions
- Should I call the other parent every time my child asks?
- Frequent unplanned calls can make settling harder. A predictable, agreed time for contact often works better for young children.
When to seek professional help
If your child is distressed most of the time in one home, or the missing seems to grow rather than ease, it may help to talk to a child and family professional.